To Be or Not To Be…That Is The Low Self-Esteem

What's Your WheelchairIf you’re human, you’ve experienced high self-esteem and low self-esteem. If you have high self-esteem, you are confident in your abilities and feel pride in your achievements.  People with low self-esteem put little value on themselves being worthwhile. Low self-esteem is a huge part of the equation for an unhappy life.

Surprisingly, individuals with low self-esteem can often times be arrogant. They feel uncomfortable with themselves and try to hide it by acting in a cocky, self absorbed manner. Knowing this, it’s not surprising individuals with low self-esteem are unable to reward themselves or someone else for their accomplishments.

Have you ever come in contact with an individual that cannot give another person a complement? Or worse yet, a person who always finds fault with a goal another’s reached or something someone’s completed successfully?  I call those individuals  “emotional vampires,” and once identified, I stay away. It seems they just suck the positive self-esteem right out of everyone they come in contact with.

Low self-esteem can cause a person to usually blame others for their inadequacies and remain in denial about them.  This causes the person with low self-esteem to have problems establishing intimacy in relationships.  How emotionally connected to a person can we expect to become if we are not only in denial of our own shortcomings, (which we all have), but also blame them on someone else?

All of us have insecurities. I listen to a lot of people blame their parents for emotional tools they may be lacking. “My mom didn’t teach me this, my father didn’t give me that.”  Note to self… We are adults now. We can choose to blame our parents for what we are lacking and go all the way back to Adam and Eve. Or, we can say,”I start with me,” and wear the emotional hats we know we are lacking.

A deficiency of low self-esteem, at times, is normal for everyone. But when low self-esteem lingers within a person, it will inevitably begin to affect their life.  We can begin to feel self-pity, self-doubt and self degradation.  It’s inescapable these feelings will effect our job, our social life, our intimate relationships and our home life… Much quicker than you think.

In a nutshell, low self-esteem affects every part of our life. How do we work in overcoming low self-esteem?  It’s simpler than you may think. The key is consistency.

The hardest part of overcoming low self-esteem is recognizing we have it. You can jump online and take a low self-esteem quiz or you can give yourself your own low self- esteem quiz.

Do you find it hard to give compliments to others?  Do you find yourself acting cocky because you feel uncomfortable in your own skin, being yourself?  Do you minimize or put down other peoples achievements and successes?

If that’s you, you may want to throw in a few self-esteem vitamins into your permanent diet.  Be authentic, be yourself. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Immerse yourself in whatever you do. Own it.  And these should not be temporary changes. Put the hat on, wear it and take your vitamins every day, period.

My number one self-esteem boost is doing something for someone else. We stop being so wrapped up in our own worries and become a part of the bigger picture. No amount of fortune, fame, beauty or intelligence gives us the same sense of purpose as a genuine “thank you” from someone you help.



  1. susan jacobsen says:

    Wow quite the eye opener!! 70% there most of the time, but boy do i need a lot more help. My problem is self-doubt which leads to being unhappy and home-life.

    • Don’t be too hard on yourself… 70% is pretty damn good, and we are all works in progress. I totally understand the self-doubt and what it leads to. In my really bad moments, my #1 goto self-esteem boost is to reach out and help someone else. It can be something as small as a compliment to an individual who you know really needs it… And regardless of what physical condition we are in, it’s something we can always do via phone, text, E-mail, in person, etc. Hearing that “Thank you” from someone who really needed help, physical help, emotional help, really does something to my gut and it’s enough of a boost to get me started on a positive path again. Then I build on that and keep going.

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